Dear Arsenal Supporters Trust: Eat a Dick You Media Whore Trash! Dear Telegraph: You Sorry Bottom Fe

Ah yes... just the kind of "support" the Arsenal lads need...

You've got to feel sorry for Arsenal FC, they must have the worst fans on the planet. Can these people do anything but sabotage the team they supposedly support? Can they be anything but the ultimate bitchy, whiny hypocrites? Here is a team whose greatest asset is its team solidarity, it's pretty much built on it. Too bad the "supporters" want to shit all over that and ruin everything Arsenal stands for.

To the AST. Who the fuck are you? A group of around 1,000 vainglorious dunce-wagons whose opinions fly in the face of what every player in the actual club wants, what the coaching staff wants, and what prospective future players want. AST, you might not be aware of this--the myopia of your selfishness and blinding desire for media attention making comprehension all but impossible--but you are completely at odds with both the culture and objectives of the Arsenal FC.

Do you think sabotaging morale will get us back in the Champions League? An F.A. Cup? Well here's a news flash you troglodytes: you are the problem. Had Arsenal proper fans that showed the solidarity the players do, were Arsenal to play in an atmosphere free of toxicity, were they to play free of the constant undermining you "fans"--whose actions create media spectacles tabloids like The Telegraph and the Daily Mail thrive on--they'd be doing much better. Who the fuck wants to play for fans like that? Arsenal doesn't have to sell its stars, the stars will just leave because it fucking sucks to play there. Thanks for that AST!

Last year Arsenal had the best record vs. the top 6 and came in 2nd in the league--the only team to beat champions Leicester twice. They did that in the midst of the greatest fan revolt the club has probably ever seen. Can you imagine how much better they might do were the fans on their side? It's hard to imagine what's going on in the mind of a paying fan. Do they seriously think to themselves "How about I insult the team, sow discord, complain, and create public spectacles that destroy team morale? Then I'll get my money's worth! Surely, that's the way to winning titles!" You fucking morons.

Let's look at the dressing room. Has Wenger lost it? Look at all the players and stars that have come out in support of Wenger: Lucas, Ozil, Giroud, Koscielny, Iwobi, Henry, Pires... Giroud even claims the entire squad wants him there. When Arsenal stars blame themselves for bad games and publicly state that their decisions to stay at Arsenal are contingent on Wenger's continued presence at the helm, then we can reasonably assume Wenger's management isn't the problem.

Regarding our fuck you to the Telegraph--this is exactly the reason we so despise the back-stabbing stunts these idiot "supporters" pull. No matter how insignificant or misguided these groups might be, you can count on tabloids to blow things way out of proportion. Case-in-point, The Telegraph's contextually perverted headline:

Seventy-eight per cent of Arsenal fans want Arsene Wenger to leave

It's classic tabloid shysterism.

78%? Really?

The caveat? They mean 78% of the AST, a group with a membership of "under 1000" which gave Wenger a vote of no-confidence after carrying out a "survey" of the people who likely agree with them. Sorry AST, Emirates Stadium has a capacity of 60,432. That means that your membership represents but 0.01% of the fans at just a single typical

match. Using AST's own rigorous methods, we can confidently estimate you represent about 0.000001% of Arsenal fans globally. You certainly don't represent people with brains, hearts, or balls.

But not to worry, there's no shame in being insignificant. There's only shame in being a fucking embarrassment.

You are not fans, you are saboteurs. Please go support Chelsea or Tottenham where your ridiculous antics belong. You people are no better than that handful Chilean protestors, hyped to be 14,000 by tabloids desperate for controversy: feckless randoms who latch onto a cause for no other reason than that they are bored and want to see what happens. Well, we'll tell you what happens.

We'll lose.

We'll lose games, we'll lose our stars, we'll lose our culture, we'll lose opportunities for future success. So take a hint from Henry, Pires, Giroud and Koscielny--whose opinions actually matter. Also, look up the word "support" in the dictionary, you're not doing it.