ISIS New Rules for Raping Sex Slaves = FAIL.

As you've surely read on countless news sites, ISIS recently released a horrifying document that justifies, among other things, the rape of child sex slaves. In it, captors are taught that they can have sex immediately with virgins, and even pre-pubescent girls if "fit for intercourse." ISIS fighters can also enjoy forced sex with non-virgins (although virgin children are clearly preferable), so long as they remember that "uterus must be purified," and I shudder to even think what that means. The document goes on to teach that buying, selling and the gifting of slaves is also perfectly fine since slaves "are merely property."

So you've set forth limitations and rules on the use and treatment of the "spoils of war," congratulations!

But really ISIS, who are you kidding?

Do you honestly believe having rules about the treatment of sex slaves will somehow convince the world you have even a shred of morality? Give us a break.

But I have to hand it to you--you unusually cruel, genocidal sex-slave-owning sociopaths, you really have blown my mind. What you've done here is like saying burning people alive is fine if you use unleaded gasoline. See? The rule about unleaded gas proves you aren't a completely psycho!--Oh wait! What am I saying, I don't even need a metaphor here! What you've said is that raping a child sex slave is ok so long as you don't also rape her mom, and this "rule" proves you have morals--even better morals than mine! Wow, you really showed us ISIS. You REALLY showed us all.

I guess it just shows the depth of ISIS's moral depravity and utter lack of human understanding that they acutally think having rules about one of the most onerous, reprehensible practices our species is capable of will lend their jihad moral legitimacy. FAIL.

Well, I've got news for you ISIS folks: this is why you'll lose your war. Not because of weapons, strategy, numbers, or the hate you can inspire for your enemies, it's your utter and complete lack of moral understanding that seals your fate. Nobody should fear you ISIS, they should just be disgusted by you.